21 December 2021
North Pole ECM: yuuvis® RAD for Santa Claus
By Philippe Zimmermann
Year after year, Santa Claus1 pulls off perhaps the greatest (and most implausible) logistical feat since Noah saved the world’s fauna from the Flood: Within one Christmas night, this good fellow manages to visit the homes of 2.28 billion Christians, delivering gifts and presents worth several trillion euros. As “nice” DMS/ECM developers, we think that’s fantastic: that’s a true mover and shaker! However … we wouldn’t be OPTIMAL SYSTEMS if we didn’t have some ideas for how Santa Claus could make his organization even more efficient in preparation for the impending population growth. Here is our proposal:
Of course, Santa doesn’t have to embark on his world tour on foot. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph, as we all know, are his nine flying reindeer who assist him in ways that remain a mystery to scientists. But the only difference between such a magical reindeer and a normal reindeer is its ability to fly – and, in special cases, a luminous nose. For the remaining 364 days of the year, they undoubtedly cause the same headaches that reindeer herders face year in and year out: Feed quantities must be calculated and provided, veterinary examinations and certificates must be managed, and appropriate (elf) personnel must be well trained.
Of course, you can manage all of this with paper – but why not spend an afternoon defining a clean IT solution using low-code/no-code programming? This way, a one-time effort can save time and trouble for many years to come. After all, it seems unlikely that Santa Claus will soon abandon his tried-and-true reindeer solution in favor of a new one: even the greenest of green tech companies would lick their lips at his stellar environmental record!
Who actually assists Santa Claus in dealing with the annual X-Mas stress at his corporate headquarters in the North Pole depends on who is telling the story. If we consider American children’s movies and shows as source material (what else?), we have to assume that a host of “assisting elves” lend him a helping hand at his polar headquarters. Whether they do this all year round or are purely seasonal workers is beyond our knowledge. Either way, Mr. and Mrs. Claus have a considerable amount of personnel to manage. While the North Pole is in international waters and thus not subject to the labor laws of either Canada or Greenland, we must assume that Santa Claus is also a saint when it comes to employee rights.
To ensure that he can do so, we would advise him to implement a customized electronic personnel administration system. This makes it extremely simple to store vacation entitlements, training courses, and certificates, as well as providing elves with access to their wage records without the need for an HR department to get involved. Furthermore, all personal … pardon, elf-related data is managed in compliance with data protection regulations.
According to our estimates, the list of good and bad kids could be as long as 730 million names. If it were written and updated entirely by hand, that would probably explain how Santa, who is otherwise used to such a fast pace of work, toils away the remaining days of the year. But we hope he isn’t that much of a workaholic after all, and that he and his wife Misses Claus take some time off too.
So here, as well, we advocate a contemporary update based on yuuvis® RAD: A simple application could make the 730 million data records searchable and editable faster than paper ever could. And, once again, the team around Santa Claus could start programming on their own and not rely on outside assistance: An elf with web design experience should be able to use the rapid application development features of the included yuuvis® RAD designer without any problems.
Because, judging by his various “official” websites, the good man appears to have hired web design elves.
Secret Santa and game consoles, toys for young and old, treasures and trinkets – and so many socks: Santa Claus stands at the end of a supply chain the likes of which mankind has never witnessed before. To prevent a pre-Christmas meltdown in the face of having to deal with countless supplier companies and middlemen, Santa hopefully uses some form of state-of-the-art contract management. Otherwise, the problems would be inevitable: Contract periods continue unchecked, while important updates are at risk of being buried in the day-to-day business. And who was a nice contractor and who was a naughty one – the overview of a good contract management can help with that as well. Santa Claus should not overlook any of this. Then maybe it will work out this year with the PS5 under the Christmas tree …
Santa may only be on the road for one night a year, but it’s a long one: 31 hours from the first to the last time zone. But during that time, there are also billions of house calls to be made. That leaves very little time for cumbersome checklists or notes.
Wouldn’t it be better, dear Santa, if you could simply access all your work materials from any browser on your mobile device? You wouldn’t even need an app – as long as you know the password and fly low enough to have coverage, you’ll have unlimited access to yuuvis® RAD.
And when you get home, it’s seamless: all you need is internet access to get started in your ho-ho-home office right away. After all, a year goes by in a flash.
… and hopes that the above text will be taken with the required pinch of humor. If our pitch piqued the interest of a decision-maker on Team Santa Claus, we will, of course, be happy to arrange a comprehensive product demo in the new year and answer any questions.
Until then, we wish our customers, partners, colleagues and suppliers a joyous holiday season and a healthy new year!
(1) For the purpose of this pitch, we are assuming the Santa Claus scenario. Of course, we are aware that in all cultures and countries, different characters take on this part – be it the Christ Child, Père Noël, the Jólasveinars, or perhaps Father Frost – as well as their corresponding gender-swapped equivalents. Our project proposals, however, are not affected by this.